How can I cope with this traumatic experience?

You sound like a great mom. Do you pray? If so, you can get down on your knees and tell all your problems and struggles to God. You'll see that He is your best counsellor. Trust me, we all have our struggles. I'm a single mom and taking care of my elderly parents. I often feel burnt out, but I have to keep going. I'm crying too right now actually due to the stress I'm going through. I feel for you and I'm sure your experience must've been very traumatic. However, you're blessed to have a healthy child; this is what you have to focus on. Remember that the past is gone and you only have the present and the future. Best of luck to you and God bless you too!